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Swirling with Christelyn Karazin

The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.

How to spark attraction

Posted by Christelyn, 29 Jan

So you’ve made the effort to make a connection, and it’s time for a face-to-face. You’ve got your best first date outfit clean and pressed, mints securely in your pocket. But once you have that first meeting, no amount of preparation can account for whether or not there will be real chemistry between the two of you…or is it?

Contrary to what you might think, attraction can be cultivated, and even manufactured. Knowing the elements of creating an attraction and fueling chemistry can be empowering and lessen your nervousness.

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I decided to do a little exercise with fellow You Tuber, Wes Murphy, a single guy who has a preference for black women, on how both males and females can create romantic tension.

So let’s recap—what makes the opposite sex react in a way that will inspire attraction?

Eye contact: Keep it natural, and don’t be afraid to keep your eyes on your partners for an extra beat. But no creepy, blank stares! Smile with your eyes as well as your mouth.

Focus on the person in front of you…put the phone away!

Watch your body language…try not to cross your arms or look at your watch or around the room

Ask open-ended questions to encourage the person in front of you to talk about themselves. Remember, don’t grill like it’s an interview or interrogation. The key is to get your partner comfortable with you, and talking about their favorite subject (themselves).

Light touching, while you smile and connect with your eyes, creates sexual tension

Don’t be afraid to engage in good-natured teasing…even a harmless challenge.

Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture & Creed, and the publisher of Beyond Black & White , a popular blog for black women interested and/or involved in interracial relationships.