Why some Black women only date White Men
We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those black women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.
The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.
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Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.
Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.
One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.
With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?
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1841 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"
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Laurelton says:Posted: 06 May 10
Actually got at a State School in New York SUNY College at Old Westbury. I got a "free ride" because of my grades. I like sociology and criminology.I also have another degree in Medical Billing. To be honest with you, college wasn't hard at all. I figure people like yourself spend upwards of close to 100,000 for a Bachelors or Masters. Not saying you 'did". I would never take out a loan for that much. I wasn't raised poor but I am not rich either. Oh yea, you were raised in the suburbs like "Bill Cosby" right? You have all these accomplishments and lash out because a white man made a single comment. You could have ignored it. Most doctorates are not exactly making six figures. it depends on what "field you are in". Overall, they don't make as much as accountants, lawyers, some engineers. LOL If it make you feel good to be a "thinker", be my guest. I might do a doctorate. My thesis would be on "Why sellout black women fail"? If I am going to publish, I want to be compensated if possible. Anyway, that weave is incredible.
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Laurelton says:Posted: 06 May 10
(Putting my drink down) She came back for me. (Oh Lord) Uh, nobody is going to stalk you. ESPECIALLY, with that bad weave. You finished your thesis and dissertation. Now, is it possible to read it? See, you feel a certain way because you got emotional. You cried like a naked baby in the woods. Now, you feel you have to save face here. There is no question you are an intelligent woman. However, your level of education is not the sole reason men date a woman. I know it is hard to get your doctorate. I respect your hard work. Again, you made the comment that the white man dismissed you. I just merely pointed that out and you responded back with all these racial commentary. You have a real problem being black. It is very apparent. I am always around highly educated black women. Some have to be validated by a white men. You happen to be the extreme case. You basically just "outed" a white guy because he said something you "didn't like. That is really pathetic. It one of the symptoms of bitchassness sellout black women acquire. They want to "control" everything. Why did the white man's comment "bother" you so much? You had to come on the board and say "well no black man touched this wig or bad weave". I am just paraphrasing it for you. What is all that about? I can never understand why sellout black women feel "black men" want 'all of them". I generally don't get into the name calling and all of that. If you were so great, you wouldn't be lashing out at a white man on the internet that dismissed you. You can't even call him "any racial terms" like you call me. LOL She was like (Mimicking her voice) wait let me pull up. "What of the white men here who have the nerve to be on an INTERRACIAL DATING SITE and yet send out messages telling me that I need to ‘go back to black men’? I received one such message from Geoff302 (yes I put his name out there…I want women here to KNOW who and what he is). He tried to chastize me…a woman with a doctorate because I want a similar man. How dare I??? As he put it…white doctors, lawyers and business owner’s want a 20 year old piece of black arm candy…and that I need to ‘give it up and go back to the black men’. Tell me….how do the women here deal with this nonsense? Of all the places to encounter idiocy…this was NOT the place I expected to find it." This paragraph is sad and disturbing. She lashes out at "younger women", I guess she perceives these young girls are taking the precious white men from her. She goes on about "how do women deal with this nonsense". UM, some women are doing well here. It is your ASS that is problem. I don't have a doctorate. But momma call girls like you "plum crazy". Oh her favorite term "dem book smart but got no common sense". My mother's "Jamaican accent". LOL Right now, I am starting to feel sorry for white guys that have to deal with this. (Rubbing my chin) You have a nice night Mrs Doctorate.
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ChocPrncess says:Posted: 06 May 10Ohhh...beast boy....your little paws forgot to pound out where you got your supposed degree in criminology/sociology. How quaint yet fitting...the beast has a degree in 'criminology'....it must have been easy for you to attain since I am sure you are rather well acquainted with the criminal element.
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ChocPrncess says:Posted: 06 May 10
Right...I am supposed to list my name and personal info on the web for MORONS like you to take and use? How truly stupid are you? Yes idiot boy....I finished both my thesis and dissertation. I am rather shocked you even know what they are. Learn to read...I stated that ONE white man wrote something I found to be rude. That is far from stating that ALL white men here 'diss' me as you put it in your charming ghetto parlance.Just like I find YOU to be a rude, manner-less animal....but other black men may not be. Go back to your black power meeting and stop whining that there are black women out here who do not want you....and who CELEBRATE the fact that you do not want them! Enough of you...be gone beast! ROFL
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Laurelton says:Posted: 06 May 10
Listening to Choc NOW, you don't want to say where you got your doctorate from. I have a Bachelor's in Criminology/Sociology. I am always interested in reading "published" works. My favorite sociologist is Julius Wilson. Why would I be jealous of you with your bad weave? You came on here whining and complaining about white men dismissing you to "black men". You went on this pathetic "tirade" about how you were never "touched" by a black man and etc (playing the violin). Now back to your education, I read everything. I never knocked your education. I simply asked you what you have a doctorate in? As if, that entitles you to a "man" (white man that is). You "lashed out" about this dating site. I beg the question, why are you here after getting dismissed so crudely by white men? A woman of your stature shouldn't be treated like this by white men. I do recall you used some copy and paste for your definitions too. Mrs "a type of doctorate". Again, what do you have a doctorate in? Since I am to ignorant to know your accomplishments. I mean that was the original thing that got you angry at the white guy that dismissed you right? He didn't get your resume or read all of it? Is that what happened? You are so pathetic you put "his name" out there publicly. I hope Obama is not reading your posts lol. There is something sad and comical about a distinguished black woman "lashing out" at a white guy telling her "go back to black men, you are not good enough". I want you to respond back. You are throwing punched but you are not hitting me with anything substantial. They all claim these accomplishments but refuse to tell you the school they went too or the "sources' of their works. Give me a break. I doubt you even finished your dissertation or thesis. This reminds me of the Negros in church calling themselves "Doctor this and that". None of them got proof or a dissertation or thesis. These are the type of black people that make educated black people "look bad". Now if you are telling the truth Choc. I would apologize to you. I take education very seriously. You have a nice night. Take that wig off summer is coming.
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ChocPrncess says:Posted: 06 May 10
LOL More insecure ramblings from a black man. Glad they do not want me as you claim. Relieved in fact. The very idea calls for a CELEBRATION!!! If interracial dating is so HORRID...then why are YOU here...you incompetent, vapid, limp excuse for a male? I write as if I am from the 'mean streets'? That is laughable. If you consider being suburban born and raised with a private education the mean streets...then so be it. Again...the jealousy that you flaccid black men project if pathetic. As for where I earned my degree...that is not your business. I earned it, I am published fully, original research, Library of Congress record, etc. etc. What do you have dear? Probably barely escaped from high school or got your GED whist incarcerated. Do tell me why I should bother to list my certifications for area of specialization for you? You are naught but a beast at a keyboard who would barely be able to grasp what I wrote. I did rather enjoy your cut and paste from Wikipedia....how learned of you! LOL My how you are demonstrating your vast knowledge. It can cut and paste! How charming! Do you dance and play the accordion as well while you hold out your little tin cup to collect coins from the passerby? By the way a Ph.D. is NOT the highest degree available in ANY subject. It is the highest degree available in CERTAIN subjects. It is the highest degree one can earn in many English speaking countries...not across all countries. However a Doctorate or Doctor or Doctoral degree is the terminal degree....and a Ph.D. is a TYPE of doctorate. And yes...in MY field, the Ph.D. is the TERMINAL degree. There is no Ph.D. in Juridicial Science...the doctorate there is designated as a J.S.D. or the S.J.D. You have a Doctor of Education. That is an E.D. NOT a Ph.D. yet it is the terminal degree in that field. Next time learn to READ AND COMPREHEND what you post my little ignorant beast.
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Laurelton says:Posted: 05 May 10
Dear Choc That is quite interesting you said a "doctorate" is a PhD. Doctoral degrees are prestigious, hard-earned accomplishments that usually denote the highest point of learning for a chosen field of study. A Ph.D. is a type of doctoral degree. However, there are some specific differences between a Ph.D. and other doctoral degrees. Some professional doctoral degrees are not an end-all for practicing a particular profession. For instance, to practice law, a certificate to practice a certain type of law, such as immigration law or corporate law, is needed in addition to the J.D. Additionally, doctors can earn certifications to specialize their practice. A doctor specializing in heart surgery, for instance, needs further specialization beyond an M.D. When deciding which higher degree is right for you, remember that if it is a professional doctorate, you might have to study for further certifications. A Ph.D. is the highest academic degree available no matter the subject, although those with a Ph.D. can achieve professional growth through research accomplishments and teaching success. There is a little bit of difference here, it is a "type" of doctorate. You never said, what you have your doctorate in. What is the name of the school you got your doctorate from? Since you like bragging about it. You write like you are from the "mean streets" of New York. It is hard for me to believe you even have a doctorate. I know you do not have a doctorate in English. It is quite apparent by your responses. Basically, you should be correcting me and not the other way around. Let me get back to your statement, this is from you're "own words". "Comment by ChocPrncess on 5 May 2010: What of the white men here who have the nerve to be on an INTERRACIAL DATING SITE and yet send out messages telling me that I need to ‘go back to black men’? I received one such message from Geoff302 (yes I put his name out there…I want women here to KNOW who and what he is). He tried to chastize me…a woman with a doctorate because I want a similar man. How dare I??? As he put it…white doctors, lawyers and business owner’s want a 20 year old piece of black arm candy…and that I need to ‘give it up and go back to the black men’. Tell me….how do the women here deal with this nonsense? Of all the places to encounter idiocy…this was NOT the place I expected to find it." You made an interesting, poorly, written tirade against white men on this board. They must assume " you are highly educated". Your delusions are almost as bad as you're hair weave. She also said this......... "Comment by ChocPrncess on 5 May 2010: And by the way….I cannot ‘go back’ to black men…because I have NEVER gone to them in the first place. I have ALWAYS dated white men exclusively. Never dated a black man…never wanted to…and still do not. They are not my preference. And each of us is entitled to our preferences." She mentions I am insecure. She goes on an interracial board to broadcast that she has never been with a black man. AFTER, she was dismissed by a white man that told her "go back to black men". It is this type of ego and narcissism that get black women used and abused by white men. She managed to "put down black men" and lash out at white men all at the same time. She reminds me of my niece that 'tantrums" when she does not get her way. I got news for you. Black men don't want you too! You bad wig wearing Koala bear. It seems like "white men" don't want you unless you are using your doctorate to make them "some money". These pathetic sellout black women "reading off their resume" like they at a job interview. The white man STILL dismissed you. LOL You have a nice day. Oh yea, if you were so smart you wouldn't be whining and complaining about a white man "dismissing" you to black men. LOL Loser. (Baiting you with my hand, respond back)
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ChocPrncess says:Posted: 05 May 10
LOL You are truly a moron. Noun 1. Ph.D. - a DOCTORATE usually based on at least 3 years graduate study and a dissertation; the highest degree awarded graduate study... HMMMMMM. Ph.D. is a DOCTORATE! Imagine that! Oh let me be more specific for you so you will not be confused....it is a type of doctorate. So your attempt to be a smartass is moot. Gee....did you think there was some sort of degree that came AFTER holding a doctorate (which is a terminal degree...if you even know what that means). Oh I know....perhaps you mistakenly thought that I held a Juris Doctorate or a DLitt...maybe a DBA or a DPT?? Hmmmm...doubtful....since you probably do not know that those are either. Perhaps you should go spank your monkey...because that is the only thing you will be 'spanking' around here. I am not taking my anger out of black men you moron...show me where I stated anything about black men in general....other than the fact that I am not obligated to them...or you. By the way...I never found 'black' men attractive...even before my degree was earned. Perhaps in grade-school I just magically KNEW I would hold a DOCTORATE? LOL Typical insecure, unintelligent black man...threatened when a black woman who does not know him nor would ever want to does NOT want him! Pathetic.
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Laurelton says:Posted: 05 May 10
(Listening to Choc) A doctorate is not the same as a "PhD". (Sigh) (Rolling my eyes and half listening) You just got mad that a white man dismissed you. NOW, you are trying to take your anger out on black men. How about direct that anger at the white man that told you go back to "black men". The only thing I grasp is woman that desperately needs validation. You just automatically believe that your education distances you from skin color. Because if it DID. You wouldn't have been upset that a white man told you go back to black men. Obviously, you are more educated than me. You got the doctorate/PhD. I am sorry if the white man relegated you "to black men". LOL Maybe. change your weave and the white man will "value" your education more. Good day (Loosening my tie up) I spanked a Harvard Graduate feminist and now a supposed "PhD" professor that hates being black. I am gone for now.
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Laurelton says:Posted: 05 May 10
Oh yea, WHEN THE TOMORROW COMES FOR SELLOUT BLACK WOMEN "THE HALLE BERRY STORY". (CURRENTLY OUT) (SHAMELESS PLUG) mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com Oh yea, look for my upcoming Blog Albums on sellout black women. OH YEA, THATS RIGHT, I AM DOING ME ( COMING SOON) THIS IS WHAT I WILL DO UNTIL .. ITS OVER (COMING SOON) WE HAVE BEEN EVERYWHERE AND "BACK" BUT.. IT MIGHT BE OVER (COMING SOON) I AM LIVING LIFE RIGHT NOW (BONUS)FT LONDON CHARLES (Leaving the stage)
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ChocPrncess says:Posted: 05 May 10
@ Laurelton You are the typical idiot that I should have thought would not be here. I have never wanted black men...and education has naught to do with 'emotional stability'. But then again only an uneducated moron would harbor such thoughts. I already have a PhD dear...that is what having a 'doctorate' means. It is not self hatred to have a preference...but it is INSECURITY on the part of black men like you...who are threatened if a black woman does not want you. And since you lack perceptiveness....the ENTIRETY of the commentary. And YES....I am offended by it being PRESUMED that I belong to or should be 'relegated' black men simply because we share a skin color. I 'belong' to no man. Apparently you are not intelligent enough to grasp this....typical really.
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Laurelton says:Posted: 05 May 10
(Ginger ale spilling out my nose) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA "Whew" I am sorry ChocPricess. (Tearing up). The funny part about her comment. She is more offended by being perceived "as dating black men before" than the comment "said to her". Jesus Christ, I tell people all the time. The more educated a black woman is, the more "emotionally unstable" she can become. Just imagine when she gets her PhD. The hair weave is even out of control. No wonder, she wants to be with white men so bad. Black men are not messing with a black woman that is "cuckoo". It reminds of the white girl in Haiti that got raped. She had a doctorate and I guess thought she would go on a mission to "save" black people. Anyway, long story short, she gets raped. Then, blames the WHITE MAN for the black man raping her. I am starting to believe what white men are saying. These American women are a "mess". The self hatred of these sellout black women are even "more amusing". Good day.
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ChocPrncess says:Posted: 05 May 10
And by the way....I cannot 'go back' to black men...because I have NEVER gone to them in the first place. I have ALWAYS dated white men exclusively. Never dated a black man...never wanted to...and still do not. They are not my preference. And each of us is entitled to our preferences.
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ChocPrncess says:Posted: 05 May 10
What of the white men here who have the nerve to be on an INTERRACIAL DATING SITE and yet send out messages telling me that I need to 'go back to black men'? I received one such message from Geoff302 (yes I put his name out there...I want women here to KNOW who and what he is). He tried to chastize me...a woman with a doctorate because I want a similar man. How dare I??? As he put it...white doctors, lawyers and business owner's want a 20 year old piece of black arm candy...and that I need to 'give it up and go back to the black men'. Tell me....how do the women here deal with this nonsense? Of all the places to encounter idiocy...this was NOT the place I expected to find it.
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kevleeny says:Posted: 05 May 10
I have never weighed in on a blog before ,but I like this forum and felt compelled to do so. I have read a lot of dialog referencing white men in regards to black females. Well here is a little insight on a white gentleman opinion who thinks black women are gorgeous. We all want quality in a perspective mate. lets not forget no matter what color you are there has to be a physical attraction first. I grew up in a majority Caucasian culture and right out of puberty, I always had a strong attraction toward black women. My hearts desire was to have a black female as a mate but seemed to settle for white women. Much had to do with geographic and to shy to approach those who caught my eye. After my divorce I decide that I wasn't going to settle for less than what I wanted. Some of those may not like this but for me the attraction was color and features of a black woman first. I further find the contrast beautiful and sexy. My experience with black females is that they are confident and have stronger personalities I don't feel empty or a void in the company of a black woman like I did with a white female. Not to turn this into a sexual post but, I have to mention from my experience with a black women, sex is more passionate, intense and not to say erotic. In fact and forgive me saying this but after my first romantic interlude with a black woman I could not walk for an hour, that's how intense it was I feel interracial dating is by far more acceptable in society that to read or hear about but, that is my opinion and based where I live. It has been rare from my area to see a black woman and white man together which is pleasing to the eye ( In fact jealous and wanted to approach him and ask where he met her). I feel many white men are attracted to black woman seeking a relationship and perhaps visa versa. For those who do we need to figure out how to burn both ends of that candle. Perhaps blogs like this will be a aid. The pool of black women who are seeking a white man for a relationship is small due to are population. Thank God for the Internet because I found my black diamond in the ruff
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 05 May 10@8:45a.m. Comment by mecca77 on 21 April 2010: well racial relationship are not cut and dry. most whitemen in america are still with the double standard attitude i agree that we do h ave to look outside of our own culture to find what we want. everyone just because they are black is not cut from the same cloth. lord knows i dated all kinds of whitemales. all are not my cup of tea. majority are not comfortable with i think i take her to meet mom. ------------------------ It would be nice if you could expound on some of the reasons you believe this to be so. Thank you.
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BD says:Posted: 05 May 10
I feel sorry for the older generation... I am very glad I did not grow up in your time. Multiracials are the future of America, and you monoracials fade away more each day. You will not be missed. This is OUR time. WE are the American Race.
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tatted2death says:Posted: 04 May 10And double dang it...I missed my "sister in weirdness", Arcadia..... Glad you see you are still around..... Peace
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tatted2death says:Posted: 04 May 10
Congrats, Tonya....may you be blessed with many year of joy and wonder. Dang it...even as cynical as I might be about the instituion of marriage...I still am a hopeless romantic....go figure....LOL Peace and Blessings tatted2death
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tonya says:Posted: 03 May 10
by the way, my babe and i are engaged to be married next summer. he is not ugly or a low income loser contrary to stereotypes. he is 6 ft 1 , average weight, dark hair, dark eyes. a real cutie. he is a physical therapist and already hasw a goregous 4 year old biracial daughter named cheyenne. i am very happy to have her as my future step daughter. I say this not to piss anyone off, but as encouragement for other interracial couples like us who have to read posts like this which are BS. Love is colorblind. Dont listen to the bias and untrue remarks in this post. The main reason why black woman/white man relationships are rare is because of the " i want a strong black man mentality from black women" , fear, and the fact that very little interaction between white men/black women socially. My babe was afraid to approach me when we first met, but look at us now. lol May 2011 baby!!!!
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tonya says:Posted: 03 May 10
ok i dont see why so much hate is directed to black women that choose to date outside their race. why is it such a double standard? Not all white men just want sex........or a black girl that looks white. I am DARK SKINNEd and beautiful. I have dated exclusively outside my race because that is what i like. i have always had crushed on non black men since childhood. The guy i am currently dating loves taking me out in public and showing me off, thinks i am absolutely gorgeous. he is not afraid to be seen with me at all. When i first starting dating interracial i actually listen to this BS that most blacks had to say about ...white men are ashamed of interracial relationships with black women? or they will never have a serious one with one. Its all BS. Yes, there are men that use women for sex but they are both black and white. With all the single black mothers, you mean to tell me white men are considered as a threat of using black women for sex? Sorry but seems like black men use black women more than whtie men. Anyways, back to my point....i believed so much what BS that the black community threw at me about not being attractive to white men and etc. I ended up coming out and asking my partner. Most white men who are open to dating interracially could care less how dark or light you are as long as you are in shape, keep yourself looking good, smart,cute and sweet. All the men i dated had no problem holding my hand while walking down the street or kissing me in public, regardless if people were watching or not. Most of the time, it was my own insecurities that made it such an issue, when they really didn't care and only wanted to be with me. Stop hating on black women who date interracially and get lives of your own. Just because a black woman dates a non black men doesn't mean she hates herself. I love my chocolate skin, round booty, and toned body. i love my full lips..........and so does my babe. he loves every part of me. Thats all that matters!
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MADcHATTER50 says:Posted: 30 Apr 10What attracts me to a woman is not her color but her quality. And I try to display the same quality as a person. Am I attracted to women of color? Yes, all colors. Considering my raising some would consider it to be a pecadillo I do not. I grew up in Miami so I was submerged in a melting pot of cultures. My family actually objected that, while living in Japan, I dated a Japanese woman. When I was young and living in Manhatten I lived with a lovely black woman for almost 2 years. She was strong, intelligent, classy and very much her own person. Or so I thought. I had proposed to her and she accepted. One month later she broke up with me because her family objected to her marrying a white man. My own family, who I can only describe as "every Jeff Foxworthy joke you ever heard" threatened me with everything from physical violence to death. You see I grew up in a racist family. I never understood racism and I pray I never understand it. Eventually I married a Jewish girl and was disowned by my family. I could care less what they thought. Still dont! My own son is turning 28 and he has never met my family. Considering how he was referred to by them I refused to subject him to that backwards racist mentality. He's grown into a fine man. I am mutt, I can prove it...my nose is cold! I am a mix of English, Irish, German and Mohawk indian. I have been married twice and divorced twice. I continue to date women of color and white women. Some accuse me of liking black women for the sexual taboo. This is the furthest thing from the truth. I've found that black women are more active and open to new ideas yes. And many know what they want from a man. Their minds are more curious about things and many possess an intellect they show only when comfortable enough to do so. This shows a vulnerability and a highly defined sense of self I've seldom found in other women. I admire that! I joke around with people when I tell them i'm from Miami, but still so southern I'm related to myself. I am capable of poking fun at myself. At this point in my life I am starting over once more. 50 was not an age at which I expected to be alone again. But Defecation Occurs and here I am getting ready to dive back into the pool. This time around I will take more time to examine and reflect on things. I am encouraged to see that others are finding love. Do I hope to find it? Of course! Who doesnt? Will I find it with a woman of color? Who knows! The more important part to me is will she find it with me and will I be worthy enough to have earned it! MADcHATTER
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charisma says:Posted: 29 Apr 10
Hi, Arcadia73 Congrats on your marriage. Thank you for your encouragement!
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Bill says:Posted: 28 Apr 10
I have been dating educated blackwomen over the past couple of years and I now find myself in a relationship. Other than a few of her racist relitives we share something very beautiful.
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Arcadia73 says:Posted: 26 Apr 10
Hello, all! Hope everyone is doing well? I haven't been around this site in QUITE some time, but just figured I'd throw in my two cents on the subject at hand. I am a black woman of mixed heritge whom, from VERY early on in life has been highly attracted to white men. I can't tell you why, I just know it has always been that way. I generally have had more in common with white men ( such as taste in music, movies & literature) and just seemed to connect better overall with them. Perhaps it's because I was raised in a predominately white neighborhood & went to private school? Who knows?! What I do know is that nearly all of my past relationships were with white men. I did date a few latinos and one black man as well. It's not that I DISLIKE black men, it's just that I don't seem to have terribly much in common with the one's that I have encountered. Most black men have perceived me as "too weird" or " not black enough" for them due to the fact that I am into rock music, wear combat boots & converse sneakers, and love independent foreign films!( Yes, I WAS told that too my FACE once,lol!) I very much march to the beat of my own drummer and sadly, it seems that this didn't sit too well with most of the black men( OR WOMEN!) that I came across. Needless to say, I have been married to a white man for the past 2 years and we have been together for a total of 5. So to say that white men never MARRY black women is an untruth at the very least. My husband is loving, kind, compassionate and devoted, not to mention handsome. He is a photographer, concert promoter & occassional road manager for a record label. He currently supports me as I go back to school to switch careers. I am currently studying to be a Nurse, with the intention of completing my masters degree in order to become a family nurse practioner. HE encourages me to attain my goals and believes in me even when I may not believe in myself. He is my rock and I am his. He loves me unconditionally inspite of, and sometimes because of my flaws. We bring out the best in each other. We respect each other, but most of all we LOVE each other! We NEED more love in the world, guys! Who really cares what "color" the love come from?! Sorry for the long, rambling response! Bright Blessing, ~Arcadia73~
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Malarki5 says:Posted: 22 Apr 10
Mecca77 Lord knows I dated all kinds of white males. All are not my cup of tea. Majority are not comfortable with I think I take her to meet mom. Menelik asks: why wouldn't the majority of white men feel at ease taking you to meet their mothers? Menelik Charles London England
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mecca77 says:Posted: 22 Apr 10
i do not know why you people give laurelton the power.. first off i think he is unemployed living with mom an n'em he has a lot of time where has become obsessed with what women are doing with their lives. in reality it is not his cry baby. i do not entertain this internet geek!! stop giving him the power.
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mecca77 says:Posted: 22 Apr 10
well racial relationship are not cut and dry. most whitemen in america are still with the double standard attitude i agree that we do h ave to look outside of our own culture to find what we want. everyone just because they are black is not cut from the same cloth. lord knows i dated all kinds of whitemales. all are not my cup of tea. majority are not comfortable with i think i take her to meet mom.
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Member says:Posted: 22 Apr 10
Dear London You make good points. She just seems to be a modern day black princess that attracts all these white men. But for some reason she is not married, nor have a boyfriend. But you are glad to be exposed to different cultures. This is the delusional and flaky behavior of sellout black women. Then, they wonder why white men pick their crazy ass last!The black woman "fetish" is so strong. Some white men overlook this "behavior". Prime example, Kingpin and Otherbrother. Especially, in Other brother's case. He thinks it is perfectly fine for his black wife to be unemployed yakking on the phone to her friends about how stupid he is. Queen also made the comment that college white men dated white women who were shallow. How do you know if those white women were "shallow"? How do you know when they dated "black" they never went back. They could have slept with numerous black women before being with you. That is how painfully naive sellout black women are. They think the white man "is only sleeping with them". The percentage of black women married to white men has not changed. Therefore your theory of them "not going back" is far fetched. You need to wake up and go to a 'wellness program" for black women that suffer delusions. Apparently, you are so desperate that you will date an "old boyfriend" from 18 years ago. Man, who are trying to fool here? The gullible white men that believe your pathetic life story. I am gone.
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Malarki5 says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
QueenBee said: 1) I’ve had marriage proposals from men of other races, but I made the choice not to marry them for various reasons. 2) You would be surprised at how many white males actually wanted to be with black women. I’ve had white guys since childhood who have wanted to date me. 3) I have an old boyfriend(who is white) who I dated briefly 18 years ago who recently came back into the picture. 4) The white guys in college dated superficially shallow white women and when they dated black they never went back. 5) I am glad that I have been exposed to different cultures and backgrounds because it made me more worldly and not closed-minded. 6) You need to get out of the dark tunnel that is your a**hole and look at what is in the real world. Menelik replies: and given how popular you've allegedly been with white men over the years, how is it that you're NOT out there in the big, wide, "real world" meeting these hundreds of thousands of single, handsome, white gentlemen? Why, with all of your alleged worldly socio-cultural experiences are you on a faceless, anonymous, dating site looking for a white man? I don't get it! Maybe you can muster your intellectual prowess to answer these few questions without getting angry and over-bearing. You've yet to answer my other questions so I don't hold out much hope! Menelik Charles London England
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Malarki5 says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
QueenBee said: I am 34 years old and don’t have the patience and time to deal with idiots like you lecturing to me about my views. Menelik replied: I don’t recall “lecturing” you on your views. Do refresh my memory…or just, maybe quote me on so doing. I merely asked you a series of questions none of which you’ve seen fit to answer. Why not? can you reply to this without getting angry? Menelik Charles London England
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Malarki5 says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
QueenBee said: if you’re across the pond in the UK then obviously you’re in a different world than where I live. Unless you know how a black woman in America lives I suggest you study up on black culture in urban cities and most black women who feel the way I do share the same views. Menelik replies: you make me feel like a white who has intervened in a family row lol. for the record: I’m a descendant of slaves whose parents are Trinidadian. I have a young son in Los Angeles, and uncles and aunts in New York. I thus have many reasons to be familiar both with your country and my African-American brothers and sisters. I am also familiar with Africa as my step-father is from Ghana. I’ve visited Africa more times than I have France (which about 90 mins away by train). I guess you could say I was well traveled. I would certainly say that I’m not angry and hateful towards any race of people regardless of their sex. Can you say the same? Menelik Charles London England
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Queenbee7519 says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
Tyrant, I am done debating with you and others I don't have to keep arguing the point with you. I have my views and you have yours.
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TYRANT says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
Queenbee said: I’ve had conversations with black women and many of them stood by black men while they struggled and when they got succesful they were conveniently tossed aside for white and non black women. I dated black until he treated me like dirt and the other sexually assaulted me because I didnt want to continue dating someone with a mental illness that caused him to be violent. TYRANT replies: Let's see if I've got this figured. Based on your conversations with other black women who CLAIM they stood by black men while they earned their degrees and once they obtained said degrees were dumped for non-black women, is that correct? You're also PENALIZING black men because ONE black man treated you like DIRT and SEXUALLY assualted you? Why didn't you say so, those are GREAT reasons to PENALIZE those NO GOOD black men. Gurllllllllllll, go get you a white man, because not only will you be VALIDATED and feel BETTER about yourself, but white men make a BILLION DOLLARS per second. A black woman didn't say "thank you" when I held the door open for her, so I'm going to PENALIZE every single black woman in the country. LOL I'm NOT even taking this SERIOUSLY anymore. Do what makes you HAPPY. I DON'T CARE. I AM TYRANT AND I HAVE SPOKEN.
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Queenbee7519 says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
Tyrant, I've had conversations with black women and many of them stood by black men while they struggled and when they got succesful they were conveniently tossed aside for white and non black women. I dated black until he treated me like dirt and the other sexually assaulted me because I didnt want to continue dating someone with a mental illness that caused him to be violent.
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TYRANT says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
Queenbee said: the educated degreed and professional black men have white women or women of other races on their arms. TYRANT replies: Queenbee, you're right, every single black male with a college degree has a white woman on his arm. LOL Queenbee said: Black women have shown loyalty to black men by struggling with them until the men toss them out for white or non black women. TYRANT replies: Odd, I've had relationships with black women and I honestly DON'T REMEMBER hearing one of them say they're with me out of LOYALTY. Usually when a black woman gets with me it's because she's PHYSICALLY attracted to me, and once she gets to know me, has discovered that she loves my vibrant PERSONALITY. Pro IR black women really kill me with this whole LOYALTY nonsense because no one dates/marries someone out of a sense of LOYALTY. If they do, then they're IDIOTS. Thanks for the LAUGH though. This just in...Every single black man in America has a white woman. YIKES!!!!!!! ROFLMBAO
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Queenbee7519 says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
Mr.Laurelton Queens, I've had marriage proposals from men of other races, but I made the choice not to marry them for various reasons. At least I got the ring, but I decided out of personal reasons to not marry them. At least I am not going in circles with black men in terms of marriage. You would be surprised at how many white males actually wanted to be with black women, but due to their family ties and racial beliefs it wasnt possible. I've had white guys I've known since childhood who have wanted to date me, but because of their family they were not able to. I have an old boyfriend(who is white) who I dated briefly 18 years ago who recently came back into the picture. The white guys in college were another story they dated superficially shallow white women and when they tried dating black they never went back.Understand this......the educated degreed and professional black men have white women or women of other races on their arms. Black women have shown loyalty to black men by struggling with them until the men toss them out for white or non black women. Yet black men want to hoop and carry on when they see a sista happy with a white or non black man who treats her good. It's ok for you to do interracial, but then you want to toss it in a black woman's face that white and non black men don't want them. You need to get out of the dark tunnel that is your a**hole and look at what is in the real world.
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Member says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
Wow! Malarki!! Your such a good father, Your son is all the way in Los Angeles and you're in London. How the hell do you parent? via phone? LOL Dude went out the country to get away from his son. How the hell do you end up with a kid all the way in the United States? Another black man with kids all over, lol even in the UK. Damn!
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Member says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
Black men view you as bourgeois. What cultural pressure forces black women to be with black men? You manage to attract "other races" of men but the goal is for them to marry you. For all this talk about loving the white man, there is a very low percentage of white men even marrying black women. It is quite interesting how these sellout black women read off their resume but still can't manage to get a white man to marry them. You can't learn that in your various textbooks. You are an academic "stand out" but can't figure out why white men pick you last. Perhaps, you suffer from entitlement issues. Just because you got a degree does not mean you are the best woman " to be with". Black women are intimidated by professional black men. It is never the other way around. Good day.
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Queenbee7519 says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
Melarki, You might as well stop listing parts of my answers and plugging them with yours you sound like a fool writing up a grocery list of comebacks. Again if you don't read so good I am not angry I am relieved and liberated from the cultural pressure black women face by being told they need a black man and yet I manage to attract men of other races when they see me as a clean(no drugs, criminal background, or out of wedlock kids), twice degreed, and respectful black woman they're interested in getting to know me. Black men view women like me as boughie and stuck up when most of us are not like that. The educated professional black men usually have white or hispanic women on their arms so they can't get mad when a black woman turns around and starts dating and marrying white men or men of other races in droves.
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Malarki5 says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
QueenBee said: if you’re across the pond in the UK then obviously you’re in a different world than where I live. Unless you know how a black woman in America lives I suggest you study up on black culture in urban cities and most black women who feel the way I do share the same views. Menelik replies: you make me feel like a white who has intervened in a family row lol. for the record: I'm a descendant of slaves whose parents are Trinidadian. I have a young son in Los Angeles, and uncles and aunts in New York. I thus have many reasons to be familiar both with your country and my African-American brothers and sisters. I am also familiar with Africa as my step-father is from Ghana. I've visited Africa more times than I have France (which about 90 mins away by train). I guess you could say I was well traveled. I would certainly say that I'm not angry and hateful towards any race of people regardless of their sex. Can you say the same? Menelik Charles London England
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Ichibod says:Posted: 21 Apr 10Queenbee7519, I don't normally do this, but I'm going to play devil's advocate for a minute. While I was reading your response to Menelik, my hair stood up. I could virtually hear you screaming. When I read your response to TYRANT, there was something almost calming in your words, and I am actually saddend by the way you feel. I don't believe you entirely feel how you responded to Lila (hatred is infectious), but it's almost as though I feel your pain or I can at least sympathize with you. I hear a lot of negative stuff said about black men by black women on this site, and I find it all very disturbing, especially what you and she had to say, but if the only thing you've ever known is what was forced upon you by your surroundings, I can only imagine... that has to be like... psychological rape or slavery. I didn't grow up in the projects, my parents and many other family members did. They tell similar stories, and I see which ones benefitted from finding a way out, and the ones that never made it. "Save yourself the anger because I am not the only sista out here who speaks her mind in this manner." You're probably the only sista out here that I've heard express your grievances well enough for me to respect them. One last thing, are you sure wouldn't ever give another black man a chance? If you're more worldly and open minded, I imagine you'd realize all black men aren't like the ones from your neighborhood. Just curious. ;)
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Malarki5 says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
Menelik said: none of what you’ve written above sounds like a lack of desire for Black men, darling, but it sounds remarkably like ANGER. What are you angry about, sweetie? QueenBee replied: Don’t talk to me saying you hear like I am f-ing 12 because I am not the one sweetheart. I don’t care what you think I can say what I feel. Menelik replied: But you still haven't answered my question: why are you so angry? Did somebody (e.g. Black, male, father) abandon you or something? You just sound so bitter. QueenBee said: I am 34 years old and don’t have the patience and time to deal with idiots like you lecturing to me about my views. Menelik replied: I don't recall "lecturing" you on your views. Do refresh my memory...or just, maybe quote me on so doing. I merely asked you a series of questions none of which you've seen fit to answer. Why not? can you reply to this without getting angry? Menelik Charles London England
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TYRANT says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
Queenbee said: Most black men who meet me find me facinating for my honesty and they understand why I feel the way I do. I am liberating myself from being told that a black man is all I need. TYRANT replies: Oh I'm sure the black men you met are just gushing from all the HONESTY you've shown them, and I'm sure it came out something like this: I am with you on that one I never desired a black man despite having been raised in an all black neighborhood long before I attended all white schools. I could careless who they’re with as long as they don’t approach me looking for a relationship and they leave me alone too. They can say I sound boughie and stuck up all they want, but I have standards that does not include being saddled down with a black man. Your words, not mine. Queenbee said: Save yourself the anger because I am not the only sista out here who speaks her mind in this manner. TYRANT replies: You need to stop flattering yourself because I'm not angry over your choice, just concerned over how you chose to express your choice. As for you being not being the only SISTA *snicker*. There are TONS of blogs and message boards where SISTAS-just like YOU-are voicing the same GARBAGE while BASHING black men in the process. Angry NO, more like HAPPY over the fact that you won't be making some black man's life MISERABLE, because I don't care how "fascinated" black men are about you, no black man in his right mind wants to be around a black woman who has nothing but DISDAIN for him. Final thought: Odd that your mother and grandfather told you to go explore the world and after traveling the world and being exposed to other cultures you came back home with a CONTEMPT for black men...way to go, Queenbee. Anyway, it's your choice and your life bhah-bhah-bhah.
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Queenbee7519 says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
Tyrant, Most black men who meet me find me facinating for my honesty and they understand why I feel the way I do. I am liberating myself from being told that a black man is all I need. I am glad that I have been exposed to different cultures and backgrounds because it made me more worldly and not closed minded. That's what is wrong with my neighborhood people are closed minded and ignorant because they only go by what has been spoon fed to them and it's all they know. I credit my mom and my grandfather for their ability to tell me to get out travel and see the world. There's a world bigger than what is in the black community and for a black woman her chance at marriage comes when she steps out of the hood and begins to expose herself. I call what I feel liberation and relief. Save yourself the anger because I am not the only sista out here who speaks her mind in this manner.
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TYRANT says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
Queenbee said: What I feel isnt anger at all I am past that it’s more like relief…..know the difference TYRANT says: As a BLACK MAN,I'm relieved that I don't have to deal with a black woman, like YOU, who can only express her love for white men by ANGRY at black men in the process. Queenbee, I'm HAPPY for you because you're doing black men EVERYWHERE a huge favor.
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Queenbee7519 says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
Malarki5, Don't talk to me saying you hear like I am f-ing 12 because I am not the one sweetheart. I don't care what you think I can say what I feel and if you're across the pond in the UK then obviously you're in a different world than where I live. Unless you know how a black woman in America lives I suggest you study up on black culture in urban cities and most black women who feel the way I do share the same views and that is being honest about them not desiring a black man and dealing with the pressure from within the black community of how they need a black man. I don't need one because I don't want the problems and stress that comes with dealing with black men. So if you want to talk to a black woman like a child go find you a 12 year old, but don't step to me with your crap because I am 34 years old and don't have the patience and time to deal with idiots like you lecturing to me about my views. What I feel isnt anger at all I am past that it's more like relief.....know the difference :-)
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Malarki5 says:Posted: 21 Apr 10
Queenbee7519 1) I never desired a black man despite having been raised in an all black neighborhood long before I attended all white schools. 2) I could careless who they’re with as long as they don’t approach me looking for a relationship and they leave me alone too. 3) They can say I sound boughie and stuck up all they want, but I have standards that does not include being saddled down with a black man. Menelik replies: none of what you've written above sounds like a lack of desire, darling, but it sounds remarkably like ANGER. What are you angry about, sweetie? did somebody (e.g. Black, male, father) abandon you or something? You just sound so bitter. I don't want you playing out negative racial stereotypes about Black women, you hear? Menelik Charles London England
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Sorry, wrote that paragraph in a rush. My GPA was like 3.7. I was on the 'Dean's List". Do not ask me how that happened. LOL I was encouraged to get my doctorate. I decided five years is too damn long. Plus,you have pressure to publish and do fundraising. The only fundraising I would do is to get you a better weave. Everything else, is too time consuming. You have a nice night.